Leadership.
Just that simple word in America in 2025 summons a host of daily news stories about our own struggles with what that word means right now—and what it could mean. I felt that anxiety in a group of 15 men from the suburbs of Washington D.C., many of them active or retired government workers, a vulnerable group these days.
This men’s group invited me to talk with them about my book, 30 Days with King David: On Leadership, which was published by Front Edge Publishing in 2020. We took a Friday and Saturday to explore what the ancient warrior-king might say to us today.
I’ve been a leadership coach for years and was pleased by the initial interest in my book, which draws on the life of the ancient King David to offer guidance on leadership. I had no idea that, five years later, the book would feel to many as if “ripped from the headlines,” as journalists put it. Credit the wealth of wisdom in the life of David for his perennial relevance as various facets of his checkered life seem to shine light on these chaotic days.
Out of 14 lenses through which I view David’s life in the book, the three that truly lit up this group’s discussion were: Courage, Gratitude and Legacy. Our primary concerns were personal more than political, but the two seem to intertwine more and more these days. With the group’s permission, I invite you to eavesdrop on some of our conversations. (The participants’ written comments are in italics.)
I’ll quote one participant’s summary as an introduction: In the process of examining these various character traits of David, we were able to have a lively discussion of our own lives and circumstances that we have had to deal with, and whether we should have handled [situations] differently. Bringing these traits down to a personal level and sharing them made for some stimulating and thought-provoking discussions!
Let’s Start with Courage
I use the virtue of Courage to look at David’s decision to lead the sacred Ark of the Covenant into the new capital city of Jerusalem by stripping himself to his bare essentials and dancing ecstatically. (2 Samuel 6) His uninhibited twirling and swaying inspired as many people as it offended.
We men discussed the courage David showed doing such a shocking deed by considering it on a continuum of risk-inclined leadership, on one end, and risk-averse leadership on the other. David’s dancing was clearly an example of risk-inclined leadership.
Risk-inclined leadership is when an individual disrupts the status quo, confronts inertia, and pushes an alternate vision of the future. While these actions can be beneficial, they can also sow chaos, reduce trust, and foster a climate of anxiety and fear. At the other end of the continuum is risk-averse leadership. Here an individual works to preserve stability, reduce anxiety and foster cohesion and community. But this also has its downsides, namely, stifling creativity, avoiding innovation and inhibiting clear communication.
We acknowledged that we ourselves choose along this continuum in every one of our relationships. We all both venture and suppress risky conversations in our marriages, our families, our friends and our workplaces. It takes courage to temper our natural inclinations and consider adopting a different set of behaviors. Being quiet when we want to speak out—or speaking out when we’d rather keep quiet—often requires courage.
Courage says less about the behavior itself and more about what it costs us to act in a way that’s difficult but better.
Most of us readily identified David’s risk-inclined behavior with that of our new President, acknowledging that some find him inspiring and others dangerous. His behavior requires no particular courage, since it’s been a lifelong description of who he is. But participants highlighted a passage from the book that warns of the inherent dangers of risk-inclined leadership. The dangers include:
- Engaging in impulsive behavior with no regard to the harm that will be caused to others that are powerless.
- Responding defensively to feedback rather than using it to improve the lives of citizens.
- Disparaging others to elevate oneself.
- Lacking accountability to encourage doing the right thing.
We see far too much of this today, and more now than when we gathered in March.
It requires courage for a risk-inclined person to practice restraint, encourage cohesion, and value the wisdom of the past. We long to see that courage today. It also requires courage to step forward and be decisive if that’s not our nature. Men at the retreat owned that for themselves too. Among their thoughts:
- David’s life was a roadmap for how to lead a moral and effective and righteous life. He was not perfect, and neither am I. But I too can strive to be “a man after God’s own heart.”
- People who approach things differently than I do aren’t necessarily my enemies. I need to listen better (even though it’s sometimes hard!) to look for the wisdom in their suggestions.
Our conversations about being “not perfect” lent little support to the popular “King David defense” of the President’s actions. His supporters may say, “God used flawed men like David in the past to lead a nation. God can still elevate a flawed leader today.” But we noted the humility and repentance that David continually showed. He confessed and repented for his risky behavior with Uriah and Bathsheba. He sought out moral guidance.
Our group would welcome similar signs of humility from the nation’s capital, today.
What about Gratitude?
We moved to discuss the important role Gratitude needs to play in our spirits, being inspired by David’s prayer of thanksgiving in 2 Samuel 7. We read there and in Part 9 of 30 Days that David wants to thank God by building a Temple—doing something for God—where God wants for David simply to receive.
Saying Yes and Thank You to God’s outpouring of grace without trying to earn it or pay God back is difficult work.
Among the group’s comments:
- I believe America is a great country, despite numerous imperfections and much room for improvement. I do not believe that, as Hillary Clinton once said, “America is great because America is good.” I believe America is great despite its shortcomings, … by God’s grace, rather than somehow [by our having] earned God’s blessings.
- When I think about gratitude in terms of our country, what I think of is the rate at which my social network offers up information and analysis about politicians and public personalities. The last thing that they said or did is available on my social network, all day every day. It would be helpful for me to think that I should not make decisions about people, based on one story or one piece of information. Even if a news story is factual and unbiased, that story is not the final answer.
On a more personal level, we revealed gratitude for the ways our lives have been blessed by casual incidents: chance encounters, random occurrences and “miraculous” details. We are thankful for the small things that have had surprisingly big impacts on our lives.
Several men in the group even gave thanks for their “rock-bottom” moments and failures—divorce, alcoholism, financial failings, for example. Many men had come to embrace those humiliations as necessary steps to their valued and blessed lives today. Naming the specific things for which we were thankful led to a powerful awareness:
Gratitude resides squarely at the heart of a sacred life.
What will be Our Legacy?
Our third exploration was into the matter of our Legacies. I titled the final section of the book “Justice,” as David speaks his final words and sorts out what to say about his life and leadership. The opening section of 2 Samuel 23 is David articulating his Legacy. In those first 5 verses, David is on his deathbed reflecting on his identity, his work and his legacy. We similarly shared among ourselves how we saw those same three things—our core identities, the positive impact of our work, and what we hope might be said about us at our funerals.
One man wrote eloquently about humility. He noted the humility in David’s final words, especially, The spirit of the Lord speaks through me, his word is upon my tongue. … He has made with me an everlasting covenant, ordered in all things and secure.
As a citizen he admired the humility in President Carter’s inaugural speech, when he quoted the prophet Micah: “He hath showed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God.”
He contrasted that with a quote from President Trump’s recent inaugural speech: Those who wish to stop our cause have tried to take my freedom and indeed to take my life just a few months ago. But I felt then and believe, even more so now, that my life was saved … by God to make America great again.
The contrast between the two men, and the deep conversations within his group, made him begin to think making Humility more of a core value in his life.
Another participant, a government worker, reviewing David’s comments about identity, work and legacy, realized he’d spent too much energy on “the work” and not enough on his “identity and legacy.” He’d always taken pride in his long office hours and consistent job focus, but he began to consider how to bring more balance to his life. He decided to begin creating a better Legacy for himself and those he loves.
King David’s last words had this impact on one man:
David’s use of “prosper” in verse 5 [“Will God not cause to prosper all my help and my desire?”] reminds me of Psalm 1, which I’ve been mindful of over the years. Maybe 13 or so years ago, I heard a pastor on the radio say, “God doesn’t want our performance; he wants our proximity.” While the first Psalm’s translations include “meditating on God’s law both day and night,” I think proximity accompanies being mindful of God during my waking hours.
That led to him re-examining how he spent his Sunday morning and his evening and early morning hours.
David’s example and words can resonate across the centuries to change hearts and minds.
Drawing on David’s Wisdom Today
Courage, Gratitude and Legacy are simply three of 14 different lenses I use in 30 Days With King David to examine his life. I was deeply moved on multiple occasions to hear and read how words that came from the life of David were taken to heart by men wanting to live God’s will today. Another comment was:
I’m struck mostly by [David’s gratitude for] “an everlasting covenant,” which is perhaps redundant, as I don’t believe God ever breaks his promises. I’m a participant in those promises through Jesus, and mindful that Jesus is one of David’s descendants. It’s a powerful connection.
In looking to David for wisdom for America in 2025, our group’s fears were tempered by courage.
Their opinions were tempered by humility.
Their worries were tempered by gratitude.
And their determinations were bolstered by faithfulness.
We departed from each other believing that perhaps the best hope for our nation and for ourselves, from our Christian perspective, is that, like King David, we all might live as people “after God’s own heart.”
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